Desi Girl Problems

21 May 2015 by aloolikespizza

Hi there! If you’re reading this, you’re probably:

  1. A desi girl
  2. Curious about what a desi girl is
  3. Or just bored out of your mind and thought this looked interesting

Welcome all the same. So, let’s start off with the basics. What is a desi girl exactly? Well, to put it simply a desi girl is any girl who is of South Asian descent and their diaspora including and not limited to India, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka . Or the more colloquially known “brown girls”. Anyway, since we’re all on the same page now, being a desi girl doesn’t just come with ethnicity. It also comes with a set of long and complicated problems. So sit back, grab some chai and get ready to be cultured on the problems of a desi girl.

  1. All desi girls’ parents expect them to become doctors. Or they’ll even settle for engineers. Anything other than that is unacceptable (read anything that has to do with the arts e.g. journalism).
  2. All desi girls are not only expected to become doctors, but are also generally expected to be married with ±3 kids by the time they’re 27.
  3. They’re also expected to stay home and take care of all those kids and be the perfect wife, so they basically get that doctoral degree for them to hang up on the wall next to the pictures of their kids.
  4. rotiBeing a perfect wife means you’ve got to learn the basics-making a perfectly round roti (a sort of dough-y bread that we eat with basically anything, curry, sugar, pickles-you name it) which isn’t as easy as it sounds. You have to roll them out and of they get too thin they tear, and they get too fat they look lumpy and you have no choice but to eat them yourselves. chewbacca
  5. Shortest horror story: facial threading. As desi girls we are blessed with dark, stubborn facial hair. Which means we have to groom it constantly lest we look like Chewbacca? Seriously we wax it/thread it, and after three days bam! Hello more facial hair (why can’t the hair on our head grow as fast as the hair on our faces?)
  6. Your mothers’ obsession with how fair your skin is. God forbid a desi girl can actually be beautiful with dark skin! If you’re a dark desi girl, your mother has probably told you to stay indoors so that you don’t get darker than you already are. Or if you’re not a darker desi girl, your mother has probably scolded you for spending too much time in the sun because you’ll “get too dark and then no one will marry you.”
  7. Throughout your life your parents have told you not to talk to boys, until you turn 23 and suddenly it’s time to get married. How about auntyji’s brother’s wife’s sister’s friend’s nephew? He’s such a nice boy, he’s an engineer!
  8. Bollywood giving you unrealistic expectations of love. When will my scarf get caught in a boy’s watch?!
  9. Your parents feel the need to constantly belittle you and insult you but once in front of the other Indian parents they’re quick to praise you.
  10. Being expected to get straight As in school. You got a C?! C is for my chappal (slipper) to beat you with!
  11. Desi girls are expected to have slim figures but that’s pretty much impossible when you go home and have so much delicious food passed down from your awesome ancestors. Thank you to whoever made the samoosa.
  12. Trying to learn how to be pro-bargainers like your mum. It’s like an art the way they can get you something for a quarter of the price.
  13. Your mum and aunties will probably give you the sex talk one hour before you get married.
  14. The struggle to find clothes that fit your weird curves, and if you can’t you’re in desperate need of a good tailor.

So there you have it! A list of the few problems desi girls face. And if you’re not desi, maybe you face some of these problems too. But whatever the case, I wouldn’t want to be anything other than a desi girl.

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